


Fall to Pieces

by 15ekaytert887



Series: Captain Swan Playlist [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Swan - Freeform, F/M, Feels, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-18 21:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11299374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/15ekaytert887/pseuds/15ekaytert887
Summary: What could have happened if Killian hadn't left after Emma gave back the ringInspired by Avril Lavignes "Fall to Pieces"





	1. Chapter 1

Emma slammed their bedroom door as hard as she could. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. Killian burning his own memories. He had killed her grandfather -- an act that he knew had always haunted her father -- and he had had no intention of ever telling her about it. She was furious with him and hurt. 

Emma didn't want to think about him. To think about his explanation or the look in his eyes when she had given back the ring he gave her. Because if she did she wouldn't be able to stop the tears of hurt and betrayal from coming. 

But try as she might Emma couldn't stop the inevitable. She loved him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He was her true love. He was the only one she wanted, or would ever want again. They were supposed to be together until the very end. But he had lied to her. He was supposed to be the one person who would never keep things from her and yet time and time again he did. How was she supposed to marry a man who wasn't honest with her?

A voice in the back of Emma's mind tried to tell her that she was being a bit unreasonable. That she had kept plenty of secrets from him--including the fact that she was fated to die. But at this moment Emma didn't care if she was being a hypocrite. Keeping things bottled inside is what she did. What Killian was supposed to do was tell her the truth. To not hide things from her. To always be on and by her side. Suddenly all the memories of every deception he had ever done to her came flooding back. 

Killian walking away from her in Rumplestilskins cell. Killian taking off with the magic bean. Killian not telling her when Zelina cursed his lips. Killian not telling her when Gold had his heart. Killian playing her as the Dark One. Killian not getting rid of the shears and endangering Henry's life. Killian not telling her about Davids father.

But with the memories of Killians betrayals also came Emma's 

Emma locking him up at the top of the beanstalk. Emma refusing to even acknowledge what was between them. Emma constantly pushing him away. Emma turning him into the Dark One against his wishes. Emma not telling him that she was fated to die. 

God, they were so messed up. Emma wanted to just blame Killian but she couldn't, not when she herself was just as bad. She didn't want to loose him but how could they move on when they kept so much from one another? Emma knew the answer should be simple; no more secrets, but it wasn't as easy as that. She had already decided to stop hiding things from Killian and she had thought that he had felt the same, but with this new betrayal how could she trust him again? 

Once again the voice in Emma's mind told her that trust in Killian wasn't the entire issue. Don't get her wrong it was part of it but the other part of the problem was her. Emma didn't know if she could keep her promise of no more secrets and she was using his indiscretion as an excuse to avoid thinking about her own. The idea of being totally open and honest with someone about things was terrifying to her. It shouldn't be, Killian was her true love, and yet it still was. Even after all this time Emma was still so used to and so comfortable with having to look out for herself. Letting someone else in like that still made her feel weak at times. She had come a long way in the last few years but in truth she still had quite a ways to go. 

A quiet knock on the door pulled Emma from her thoughts, she looked up in time to see Killian come into the room. 

“I thought I told you to leave.” Emma said angrily trying to hide the tears in her voice. She didn't want to talk to him about all of this right now. She wanted to be mad at him—no, she still was mad at him but she now was equally mad at herself as well as scared for the future she had been so excited for mere hours ago. She didn't want to talk about any of it. She just wanted the jumble of thoughts in her head to stop. 

“I'm not going anywhere.” Killian said firmly as he walked towards where she sat on the edge of their bed. He knelt down in front of her and the pain in his face was evident. 

“Emma,” he began his voice a broken plea. He tried reaching for her hand but she quickly pulled away. “Love, please-” he started again. 

“Don't.” She cut him off harshly refusing to look at him. 

“Emma I'm so sorry, please don't do this. Please talk to me.” He begged. Emma looked up at him then and into the vastness of his beautiful blue eyes. The love she saw in them always brought her comfort. Although right now she could still see the love in their depths she also saw anguish and fear in them as well as his own tears. Seeing him like this only made Emma's own tears begin to fall again but when Killian reached up to wipe them away Emma stopped him. Pushing his hand away and turning away from him once again. 

“Emma-“ he begged again 

“No. Don't Killian, just don't. I don’t want to talk.” She cut him off once again. They were silent for a few moments, the only sound was their own jagged breathing as they both tried to control their tears. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Killian finally choked out between his own tears, breaking the harsh silence that had surrounded them. Emma was silent for a long time. She should want him to leave but she didn't. All she wanted was for him to hold her because the only time she ever felt right with the world was in his arms. 

“No.” Emma finally whispered. Killian just nodded and when he wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to lean his forehead against hers she didn't object. Just the simplest of touches from him felt to good to push away. His presence had always brought her back from the edge. Back to her self when she felt like she was coming undone like she was now. 

Emma knew that they needed to talk but she didn't know where to start. She had so many questions buzzing in her mind. She needed to know everything; when he had found out, why he hid it from her, if their promise of no more secrets was even ever real. She also needed to tell him that it wasn't entirely his fault, that she was sorry that she had also kept so many secrets from him as well. But most of all she needed to know what all of this lying and deception (both his and hers) meant for them. For the future that they had both wanted, because Emma knew that secrets and lies were not a future that she wanted for herself. 

However Emma also knew to the very depths of her sole that she didn't want a life without Killian either. She didn't know if any genies, gods, or anyone else out there was currently listening and she knew that after that close call with Gideon that she had no right asking for more, but she silently prayed that her and Killian found a way through this together. 

But that would come later because right now all Emma wanted was to not talk about it. She just wanted to sit and stare into the eyes of the man she loved more than life itself. She wanted him to hold her as she cried and she wanted to pretend that everything was going to be ok.


	2. Lyrics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyrical inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: none of the lyrics are mine

Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne 

I looked away  
Then I looked back at you  
You tried to say  
Things that you can't undo

If I had my way  
I'd never get over you  
Today's the day  
I pray that we make it through  
Make it through the fall  
Make it through it all

And I don't want to fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one  
I'd be with 'til the end  
When I come undone  
You bring me back again  
Back under the stars  
Back into your arms

And I don't want to fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you

Want to know who you are  
Want to know where to start  
I want to know what this means  
Want to know how you feel  
Want to know what is real  
I want to know everything, everything

And I don't want to fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want to fall to pieces  
I just want to sit and stare at you  
I don't want to talk about it  
And I don't want a conversation  
I just want to cry in front of you  
I don't want to talk about it  
'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you  
'Cause I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you  
I'm in love with you

Written by Michael Maida, Avril Lavigne • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Your comments and kudos mean the world to me:)


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